Monday, April 9, 2012

I Can Be Stylish, Too: Facial Hair Version

If there was one thing that I wish were socially acceptable for a girl to have, it would be a mustache. Guys are lucky. They can just waltz around with their oh-so-amazing (or not-so-amazing *cough*) facial hair and no one thinks twice about it. But girls can't do that. Even if a girl does happen to have a naturally grown mustache, she's expected to get it waxed or whatever. It's usually considered socially unacceptable.. But facial hair is so darn cool! I'm feeling left out, folks. I don't like feeling left out. But I also don't like being socially unacceptable. So what did I do? I gave myself facial hair using (kind of) socially acceptable materials:
There's the all-popular finger mustache. This one's common amongst the tweenage girl crowd. It's often posed with a duck face (note: which is not socially acceptable) and the caption "cuz imma cool like that brah" or something equally stupid.
Now this one was so cool, Kateri decided to attempt at pulling it off with me. (note: it didn't work.) This form of makeshift facial hair was used in the days when we had to do a Vacation Bible School skit that required more male actors than we had available. This is the kind of hair style that is probably best for wearing around the house and NOT around the mall. Walmart might be okay, so long as you're sure you're not going to be seeing anyone you know. 
This style is for when you're desperate to have facial hair but you don't have any materials except what's on your own head. 
This style is for when your desperate to have facial hair but you don't have any materials except what's on your friend's head. (note: sister's hair works equally well.)
This beard is my personal favorite. It's one of those things where you can only do if you're Catholic and/or wear a scapular on a regular basis. It's easy to do: just hang your scapular over your ears and let the front part dangle over your chin. (note: now, this one I'm not sure is not only socially acceptable, but also theologically accurate. I'm actually don't think you're allowed to wear your scapular as facial hair. I guess I'm going to have to write a letter to the pope and ask him about it.)
So there you have it! Facial hair that any girl can wear. But now that I think about it, none of these are really socially acceptable. Oh, well. Who needs to be socially accepted anyways? God will love you no matter how you wear your makeshift facial hair. Probably. 

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