Mercy.

My life is happy now. I feel as if I were a small child again, sweet and innocent and just so darn full of life! I want to dance and sing and laugh and make a joyful noise until I go crazy. I feel light and airy, as if I were to put just a bit too much bounce in my step, I'll go flying into the heavens and never come back. I just went to confession. Can you tell?
My life had been losing the hold that it had on me. The world was spinning around me, making me sick as I watched life go 'round my head, over and over until I was sure to lose my grip on sanity. So many tests to take, so many essays to write, finals coming up, a job that's taking more out of me than I expected, chores that need to get done, babies crying for attention, my mother lecturing me to spend more time with my siblings and with the rest of the family, and the prayer life that I've somehow managed to continuously push farther down my to-do list. I was stressed. So much to do and I felt as if it were all demanding to be done right now. Life had me in a choke hold and I needed a breath of fresh air. So I did the only thing that I knew would set me free: I went to Jesus. 
I walked into the church as I felt I often did: cheerful and with a ready-to-love attitude on the outside yet struggling under my cross on the inside. I was angry and hurting from a disagreement  I'd had with my parents before we'd left, but I was ready to give myself up at the alter, freeing myself from the burdens that had been holding me down. 
The priest at my parish is Fr. Liam. He's an Irish priest in his mid-sixties. He's hilarious and he's such a strong man of God who's wisdom and guidance has saved me from myself more times than I can count. Throughout the entire Mass and all through Lifeteen afterwards, I was silently begging God, "please please please give me a chance to go to confession!" To my relief, Fr. Liam stayed to watch the Lifeteen talent show that was going on that night, so I did get a "yes" in answer to my prayers as I took him aside and asked that he hear my confession. 
I love Fr. Liam as a confessor. He's just so relatable and easy to talk to. He makes it easier to see that, through him, I'm actually confessing straight to Jesus. He makes me see that I can talk to Jesus as a friend, as someone who will listen to me with love and not look down on me with hostility and resentment. I always feel so free, as if the burden I've been carrying for the past few weeks has been lifted from my shoulders and placed at the foot of the Holy Cross. 
I flew out of the confessional and down the aisle to the Tabernacle, where I dropped to my knees and looked into the beautiful dark eyes of my Savior, thanking Him for freeing me from myself. I now feel beautiful and free, just as He had created me to be.