My parents get mad at me. My favorite skirt rips nearly in two. Mosquitoes think my blood would make for a fine dinner, leaving me with unattractive, itchy welts up and down my arms and legs. I fainted at Steubie West (again). School starts in less than two weeks. My braces are cutting my lips. The house is an overwhelming mess. I wake up every morning either throwing up or at least feeling like I'm going to. St. Mark Lifeteen goes to Steubenville San Diego and I've been too sick to go.The dog bites. The bee stings. I mess up. I fall down. And to top it all off, my tummy really, really hurts. I just want to cry.
But then I remember something. God loves me. He's proven it to me, too. Over and over again, He proves His divine love for me. But sometimes I forget and I have to remind myself.
I found this adorable green 1940's style dress at a thrift store for only 7 bucks. Ooh! And it has pockets, too! My baby brother can now identify Bob the tomato and say "Bob" all by himself. The birds are chirping cheerfully in the trees, making me think of St. Francis. The clouds in the sky look picture perfect. Arizona sunsets. Maximilian's smile. Messy buns. Adoration. Swimming in 110 degree weather. Watermelon Eegees. Heck, Eegees in general. Ticklish babies. Praying a rosary with one of my best friends over FaceTime. Gluten free pizza that doesn't taste like sand. Dreaming about Heaven. Red high tops. Skirts that flow prettily when I spin. Cute old people. Chubby babies. Playing games with little kids. Guys who are good huggers. That feeling you get after having a nice talk with God. Finishing an essay. A clean room. Sleeping in freshly washed sheets. Taking a hot bath. When I go to confession and I feel as if I can fly afterwards. People who tip well at Sonic. Catching up with people I haven't seen or talked to in a while. Books that make me want to be a better person. Stalking people who have funny status's on Facebook. The fact that we might find out why I've been so sick on Monday. Spicy food. Priests that give good homilies. Chocolate with peanut butter. Two and a half year olds who will sing me VeggieTales and then say yes when I ask them to marry me. The fact that I can go on with this for another hour, at least.
I look back at these two lists and see that the second list is more than twice as long as the first one. God truly does love me. I have so many reasons to smile. God has an amazing plan for me. Even though I've been so sick and am scared to death as to finding out what's been wrong with me. Even though I'm nervous about growing up. Even though I get sad, frustrated, angry, scared, confused, uncomfortable, and everything else about you name it. He loves me more than I can possibly imagine. He has a plan for me and I just have to trust Him with all that I am. He really loves me.
It's just that sometimes I need to remind myself.
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