Sister Sister

My God,

You're calling my sister to You, to be Your bride. And she's running to You with her arms open, ready to serve You in any way that You desire. Her love for You is endless, and I know she will make for a wonderful bride for You. You deserve someone as amazing as my big sister. She's going to look beautiful in her habit. 

Remember when I told You that I am completely Yours? Remember how I promised that anything that I had was Yours to take? Well, I meant every word. I will continue to live up to that promise every day of my life. However, I do think I'm going to need some help.I never thought that you were going to take my sister, the one person in my life that I'm closest to. I didn't realize how hard it was going to be to let go. 

My God, grant me peace. 

You see her as she goes on all those discernment retreats with the Sisters. You protect her as she travels around the country, and You guide her so that she might one day find the order that You want her to become a part of. She follows Your calling willingly and joyfully, and she never fails to come home with a thousand stories about the Sisters and how much she loved her visits with them. She always comes home so happy. And that makes me happy. 

But at the same time, never have I been so unhappy. I know You're watching over me as I sit on my bed each night she's away, afraid of the sacrifice You're calling me to make for the sake of my sister's vocation. You see every tear that drips down my face, and You know the fears I hold in my heart. I know You hear my cries for help to let go, to let You take my sister without a moment of hesitation. But I trust You, even though it seems like You're holding back on that. I know You have a reason for letting me sit here feeling such distress over this. 

I do realize how silly and selfish I sound right now. I mean, it's not like I really have a choice. But even if I did, I would still give her up for You. You know I would. But right now, what is it that's holding me back? Why is this so hard? You're calling her to be with You. My prayer is a constant plea for You to help me find peace in this. But even as I sit in front of You in the Blessed Sacrament, but heart becomes even heavier. I feel guilty that I feel so sad about my sister responding to Your call for her. I feel like I'm holding something back from You. 

I'm afraid of losing her. My goodness, I'm like a two year old right now. I say "Here, Father. You may have anything." And then when You take it, I only pull it back with a cry of "No, Father!" Except not really. I'm not saying no to You. But I am saying that I'm afraid. I do trust that You're holding us both close to Your heart. This will be good because I know that You are good. 

I offer up all of my fears and distress up to You. I am forever Your servant. Lead the way, my Shepherd. I am Your little lamb and I will love You always. I pray for peace.

With all my love,
Rachel

My Heart Kinda Hurts.

The crucifix at the end of her rosary dug into her skin as she gripped it tighter in her sweaty fist. She yearned for peace, yet she remained unsettled. Tears began to drip down her face So much has changed in these last few weeks. It's been so hard. She gazed down at the crucifix and sobbed. She felt lost, alone, and completely broken. She was scared. She'd already done all that she knew to do. Now it was time to sit back and wait with patience and trust. Oh, how she hated this. She fingered the rosary she held in her hands and began to pray. It was all that she had left. 

Adoration.

I made my way to the Adoration chapel, breathless and happy. I could feel a pull in my heart, as if Jesus was calling out to me from the Tabernacle where He resided.  It was the beginning of Easter break and besides, there was no place I would rather be than sitting in front of the Eucharist. Lent was coming to an end, and I'd been longing to spend some time with Him.
 
I pulled open the heavy door to the chapel, smiling as I breathed in the faint smell of incense. I dipped my finger tips into the holy water font and genuflected. Already, my heart was getting that familiar flutter that comes whenever I can feel myself come close to God. I sank into a pew close to the front and set my gaze upon the Monstrance. Shivers ran up and down my spine as I sat there in the utter stillness. I do so love the Holy Presence. 

"Hello, Jesus," I whispered. I could almost imagine Him turning towards me with a warm smile on His face as He wrapped me in His loving arms and held me close. 

"Hello, My child. I've been waiting for you," He would say. 

Smiling to myself at the thought, I took my rosary beads out of my bag and knelt down to pray. As I meditated on the Sorrowful mysteries, I gazed upon the large crucifix hanging above the altar. I murmured the prayers to myself, fingering my beads as I meditated over the Sorrowful mysteries. The Agony in the Garden, The Scourging at the Pillar, The Crowning of Thorns, The Carrying of the Cross, and finally The Crucifixion. Finishing with a Hail Holy Queen and then a St. Michael prayer, I once again turned my gaze towards the Monstrance. -->

Lent's almost over. For some reason, this Lent didn't seem as long as others had. Not that I really mind either way. I hold a special place in my heart for the season of Lent. To me, suffering has always been something to be seen as beautiful. What a beautiful way to grow closer to my God, to carry the Cross along side of Him as He stumbles up the hill to pay the price for my sins. 

It's been a beautiful Lent. I've slipped up more than once, but through the graces that I received from the Sacrament, I made it through. I feel so much stronger with these beautiful graces. Even still, I'm tired and I'm craving sugar like none other. It's been a long, difficult 40 days in the desert, but we're almost there.

Praise be to Jesus.

Methinks I Need Some Prayers. Please.

I'm tired. No, that's an understatement. I'm flipping ready to fall asleep right here, right now. Standing up. On a cactus. Barefoot. Which makes absolutely no sense, considering I'm spending practically my entire day either resting on the couch or taking a nap. I really want to get up and do something productive, but I have literally no energy. I feel like a total blob. 

On top of that, I've been getting these major headaches. Sometimes, my head hurts so bad, I swear I can hear it screaming in agony. It throbs. I'll often just lay on my bed and cry. 
I am so tired of all this. I'm tired of the seizures, the headaches, the lack of energy... I just wish it would all go away. 

Ugh and the STRESS of life right now is most certainly not helping anything. Oh, so much to do and so little motivation to do it! My day consisted of creating a to-do list and staring at it for awhile, thinking, "Wow. I have a lot to do. Oh well." 

I want to get off this emotional roller coaster. One minute, I feel as if I can conquer the world. But then the next, I just want to crawl in a hole and die right there. Someone should bring me some dark chocolate. This craving is going to be the death of me. 

I'm at a total spiritual low right now, too. I seriously wish that all this would help me grow closer to Christ. I feel so far away from Him. I need to go to Adoration. 

Meanwhile, I think I'll go cry into my pillow. Hormones can go die. 

Jesus, I need help. 

Buzzing Around my Head

I have a lot on my mind right now. I’m going to drive myself to insanity. My thoughts are buzzing around in my head like a swarm of bees. I really should be doing school and getting started on the three essays that are due soon. Or I could put my laundry away, or clean my room, or do the dishes, or organize my desk. In other words, I could be productive. Hahaha! No.

Guys. I’m growing old. Junior year is more than halfway over. I’ll be in my last year of high school soon. I have exactly 337 days left of being a child. That’s a scary thought. I think I’ll just go sit over there all by myself and think about that for a minute.

Whoa. Hold up. Okay. I’m done with that. It makes my head spin.

I’m craving an adventure. I want to go out and do something. That’s the sad thing about being a homeschooler. If I’m not at a doctor’s appointment, I’m at home doing school or watching my siblings. That is my life. I guess that’s not entirely sad. It’s not that I dislike staying at home and being with my family. I don’t even dislike going to the doctor so much. It’s just that I sometimes get a bad case of cabin fever and need to go out and explore something new. If you share this desire to adventure with me, please don’t hesitate to contact me immediately. Facebook, email, call, text, smoke signals… Really. Come on an adventure with me.

I had a seizure at Lifeteen last Sunday. It was the very first Lifeteen that I’d been to since October. I had been counting down the days, the hours, and finally the minutes until I was allowed to finally go back. I was so excited. I really thought I could make it the entire night without having a seizure. I’d almost made it. We had maybe only another 10-15 minutes before we ended with snack in the back. I was so close. I’m actually quite happy that I made it that far. I did have fun in the time that I was there. I got to see some people that I’d been missing very much. I am so grateful.

I’m still quite sick. I’ve been getting these mad headaches that keep me up at night and bring me to tears during the day. On the bright side, my stomach has started to hurt less. Knowing that I have gastroparesis and being able to keep a diet that helps my sad excuse for a stomach digest my food has made all the difference in the way I feel. I still don’t have as much energy as I’d like to have, and I obviously still have seizures. But I’m grateful for the progress that I’ve made. I can only pray that in this next year and hopefully sooner, I will make even more progress in my health.

I’m hoping to go to Adoration soon. I’m kind of at a spiritual low at this point in my life. I feel as if I’m going through the motions, not growing closer to my Love in any way. My heart is aching so much right now. I need so much to go be with Him. Soon, I hope.

I have to go be productive now. Procrastination is a way that the Enemy likes to tempt me, and I cannot let him win. I’m trying to do all for the glory of God, especially when I don’t want to. It’s hard, but that’s how I know that it will be worth it. 

Apolaustic Hullabaloo.

I know this is kind of late, but happy New Year! I am super stoked for this new year. I've got a really good feeling about it. 2012 was most certainly difficult at times, but it was beautiful nonetheless. Since God has total control, there's no doubt that this year will be, too. I'm so excited to see what He has planned out this time. 

I like new things. Whether it be a new baby, new shoes, or a new year, it all has that lovely "new" feeling to it that makes me want to breathe in deep and smile. It's so fresh and untouched; I almost want to leave it that way looking perfect and new. But at the same time, I want to dive right in and make it to be something beautiful. 

This year, I'm going to continue to grow closer to God in as many ways that I can. I'm going to find new ways to praise Him, especially through the way that I react with my family and the people that I'm around. I'm going to be a happier person and try to mentally maim fewer people than I had last year. I'm also going to try my hardest to not let this sickness bring me down. I've got to always remember that God is in total and complete control and He loves me to the point where He won't ever let me come across anything that I can't handle. 

This is the last year of childhood that I have. Don't get me wrong, I really am looking forward to growing older and stepping into this next part of life, but I almost don't want to let go of being a kid. As exciting as becoming an adult is, I really want to make the most of this final touch of childish innocence as much as I can. 

I have a feeling that this is going to be a really great year. 

Update: The Story of the Seizures

Guess what guys. I spent last night at the emergency room. Long story short, I had a seizure and stopped breathing for a few minutes. It was rough. Like always, I hardly remember a thing. Most of what happened is hazy and confusing for me. And like always, going to the hospital was absolutely not cool at all. 

Yesterday was my birthday party. We had some friends over to film the new Somebody Else's Shoes Production film "The Pirates of Duct Tape." (Coming soon to a YouTube near you.) I admit, it was a far more stressful day than I'd been used to having for the past couple of months. I mean, we were running around on a hot December day. (Even coming from an Arizonan, saying that felt weird.) It wasn't that I didn't drink enough water or I ate something that I should have as it sometimes is. I guess it was just an all around a harder day than my body could handle. 

I was feeling fine until later in the evening after nearly everyone had left. I was getting ready to put my two year brother upstairs to go to bed when I started to feel slightly dizzy and lightheaded. Being the responsible human being that we all know that I am, I lay down on the ground in case I actually passed out. At first, I thought I was feeling better and was about to get up to continue getting my brother ready for bed. But then something "ticked" in my head, which startled me, so I called out to my mom. That's all I remember before the first seizure. After I woke up from that seizure, I think I started to cry. Having seizures is extremely uncomfortable and on top of that, quite frustrating for me. 

After I'd been resting on the ground for awhile after the first seizure, I felt a second "tick" in my head. When I woke up this time, I felt very short of breath. I don't think I said anything to my mom; I was too freaked out. My head was swimming. I could hear panicked voices, but I didn't try to make out what they were saying to me. I remember that breathing in and out was getting harder and harder. And then I blacked out for a bit, only to wake up to see a couple of paramedics kneeling down next to me. My head hurt. My muscles ached. I was afraid. 

I rode in the ambulance with one of the paramedics. Wes, I believe he said his name was. He told me to let him know if I felt like I was going to have another seizure. Only moments later, I felt another "tick" in my head. I leaned over and punched Wes in the knee. He yelled to the driver, "Okay, you should probably turn the sirens on." I admit, riding to the hospital with the sirens on was pretty darn cool. At least I think it was, considering how I was unconscious the rest of the ride there. I don't remember ever arriving to the hospital or waking up from that seizure. No worries, though. I did. *insert cheesy smile here* 

Now, I don't remember a whole lot that happened at the hospital. A bunch of doctors came in to talk with me to get the story. I got an MRI scan done on my head, but that came out with nothing. They later told me that they'd drugged me with something in the ambulance to stop my seizure, so I was quite woozy the whole night that I was there. This hospital stay was pretty much the same as the past ones I've had. Just as I did then, we still ended up with nothing. We are still completely in the dark as to why I've been having these seizures. Not to mention why I wasn't able to breath. 

Please pray for me, my dear friends. I hate having seizures and not knowing why I have them. It is so frustrating. So please pray that they soon find out what's wrong with me. Many thanks. :) 

I did find out one thing, though. I learned that a hospital gown paired up with seizure hair is obviously the most attractive thing that a girl can sport this winter. Obviously. 

Hope. He's Given me Hope.

I've fallen. My knees and my hands are bloodied and my face is drenched in tears. I hurt so badly. I collapse, letting my face hit the ground. I don't want to stand up. I just want to lie here, in a puddle of my own tears, and wait for the misery to pass over me. It seems as if life has stopped. I can think of nothing other than the fact that I've fallen. I don't want to stand back up. I know that once I get up, I'll only fall again. I don't trust my own two feet to hold me up. I just want to lie here and sleep for the rest of eternity. I'm exhausted. Mentally, physically, spiritually... exhausted. I am exhausted. I am weak. I am afraid. 

But then I feel something, a gentle tug in my face that moves my face slowly upwards. What I see knocks the breath out of me. Two hands-- hands that have worked purely in the name of love, hands that have gently caressed the faces of small children, hands that have ever so lovingly healed those who were sick-- two strong hands, nailed to a cross. Two feet-- two feet that have walked a thousand miles, that have traveled both near and far only to serve, those two feet which have walked across the stormy seas-- two feet, nailed to a cross. 

My eyes are drawn up still more, and I immediately want to bring them down again. But I can't look away. The face-- a crown of thorns pressed deeply into His forehead, blood and sweat pouring down His cheeks, his face twisted in pain and sadness. But those eyes, those dark brown eyes that look so deeply into my own, as if they're looking straight into my innermost being. I want to turn my face away, but I can't. As He looks down into my face, I am overwhelmed with emotion. 

As much as I want to just give up, looking up at Him on that cross, I know that I can't. His love never fails, it never gives up, never runs out on me. Life is hard, I feel so weak, and I just want to sit here and cry. But I'm filled with hope. Hope in that beautiful Man on the cross, that Man Who has done so much for me. I'm almost afraid to see where this path is leading me, but I know that I can get back up and continue on. It hurts and I am afraid, but once again, I am filled with the hope of His unfailing love. 

I Don't Even Know

Hi, my name is Rachel Claire Hitchcock and I am madly in love with an amazing Man. In fact, for the past couple of weeks, I even thought I might marry Him. But alas, it just doesn't seem as if that's what I'm called to do with myself. 


But what am I called to do with myself? I don't even know. That's where my mind has been, wondering exactly where I'm supposed to go with my life. Where does God want me? I'm willing to go anywhere He wants me to go, do anything that He wants me to do. He just has to lead the way. Where He goes, I'll go. But right now, it doesn't feel as if He's leading me anywhere. I feel so stuck. I'm going through the motions. I spend my life at home, either doing schoolwork or sitting on the couch. I haven't even got the energy to go out of a walk to work off my restlessness. If I did, I'd be halfway to Rome right now. But... that's not where God's leading me. 

I feel as if I've got nothing to live for. I don't even have the energy to walk across the house, much less to Rome. I have to beg my mom every Sunday just so that she'll let me stay for lifeteen after Mass. And then when I do succeed in convincing her, I always come home completely drained. But I'm so restless! It's a strange feeling, to feel so weak and without energy, yet at the same time I'm just a bundle of nerves. I'm not content as to where I am right now. I want to be somewhere interesting, doing something fantastic. 

But no. God is calling me to wait. Every day, I tell Him that I'm ready to give myself up and do something amazing for Him. I'm willing to do anything for Him. I'd happily be a missionary, a sister in one of Mother Teresa's orders, or play a part in something huge. But then He asks me to do what I hate most: wait. Such a simple thing to ask. Why am I so afraid to say yes? I want to be out there doing something, but no. I have to trust that He really does have the perfect plan for me. Jesus wants me to sit here and wait. 

So if you need me, I'll be sitting here. Waiting. 

There is a Reason

I hurt. I'm very sick. I'm tired. I have no energy. I can't even go to youth group events, church retreats, dances, or birthday parties without the fear of collapsing and having a seizure. I've lost the life of the kid that I've gotten so used to being. I'm scared. I find myself crying myself to sleep at night, begging God to just take me in my sleep so I don't have to suffer another day. I am not strong. I am afraid. 

But then, as I sit in Adoration, gazing upon the Monstrance that sits on the alter before me, I can't help but be reminded that there is no need for that. There's a reason I'm still alive. There's a reason God hasn't decided to take me from this world early. He has a plan for me. Yes, I hurt. But there is a reason for that hurt. God knows what He's doing. Yes, it is very hard to trust Him, especially in these times where it seems as if I've lost so much. But it's in these times when I only have to trust Him more, because the outcome is going to be only that much more beautiful. 

Jesus holds me closely, because I am so very dear to Him. He won't let me go. I have no need to be afraid. He wants only the best for me, and if I trust in Him with all my heart, only the best will I get. He is my Shepherd, and I am His precious lamb. I have wandered and gotten lost, but He's found me over and over again. There is a reason for all that He gives me. This pain, this sickness, this hurt. I'm going through it all for a reason. He won't let me down. 

Jesus, I trust in You. 

St. Therese of Lisieux, Pray for Us.

©Marisa Clare Photography

Life is kind of hard right now. I'm still very sick nearly 24/7. I'm so behind in school. I'm stressed, depressed, moody, restless, scared... the list goes on. Sometimes I ask God why He gave me this cross. I know that He's not going to give me anything that I can't handle, but why does He trust me so much? Doesn't He know how weak I am? 

I feel so stuck, as if I'm just going through the motions. I just want to run away from everything. Living a life of a cloistered nun, away from everything, is starting to sound more and more attractive to me. 

If I were to run away and join the convent, would I be running to God? Or away from Him and His true will for me? 

But I feel so empty right now. What if Love really is calling me to be His bride? What if that's the only way that I can be released from this emptiness? Why does this thought scare me so much? 

Lord, I need You. 
Jesus, I trust in You. 
Lord, give me strength. 

A Pep Talk From Me to Me

Dear Rachel, 

There are a few things that I think you need to be reminded of. First of all, you don't need to worry anymore. Things have been so hard lately, but guess what? You are in the hands of Someone who is so strong, so powerful, He's defeated Death itself. And guess what else? He thinks you're the bomb diggity. He cares about you so much. He has a plan for you, a plan that will bring you happiness and peace, if only you would just give yourself up and follow Him. You don't need to worry. I know that it's hard to see what He's got planned for you right now, but honestly, you don't need to. You've just gotta trust. It's hard. It is so very hard. But that's how you can be sure that all of this will be worth it in the end. Isn't it nice to be able to look forward to that? 

And no offense, girl, but you need to smile more. You worry too much. Sure, all this might be scary to go through, but that is no excuse to cry as much as you do. This is frustrating. You feel as if you've lost a large piece of your life, but in reality, you've gained so much more. This is another one of those things where it's too hard to see right now, but you have to trust in Him. He's got a plan for you and everything is going to turn out absolutely beautiful. Smile. Life is so beautiful. 

Let's be honest with ourselves here. God has blessed you with so many wonderful people to help you through this: your parents, your siblings, your friends, the Core members at lifeteen, the doctors, all those who remember you in their prayers. Seriously. Why do you ever doubt that God's got your back? 

Chin up, girl. This, too, shall pass. Don't you ever give up hope. Don't be afraid. I can't say this enough: God has a plan for you and you don't need to worry about a thing. Pray always. Mary is your best friend. All of the saints will pray for you and help you as you work your way to, one day, be one of them. Don't ever let fear overcome you. Your God is so much bigger than that. 

Stay strong. This is all going to be worth it in the end. 

Remember that true peace and happiness can only be found in Christ. And in Christ, we stay. 

Much love,
Rachel

P.S. God made you special and He loves you very much! 

Tired. So Tired.

I'm done. I've said that so many times already, but I"m saying it again. I am done. I'm so tired of this. So tired of waking up every morning throwing up, tired of the going to doctor after doctor, tired of getting poked and prodded and scanned. I'm tired of getting negative results.

This just gets harder and harder. I hate not being able to walk across the house without needing to sit down halfway there. I wish I could play with my four year old little brother in the backyard and be able to jump and run around with him. I can't even stand during the Gospel reading during Mass without collapsing. I'm not even seventeen yet and I feel like a sickly eighty year old woman.

I'm so tired of this. 

I'm going to sleep now. 

Wake me up when this is over. 

The Cross That I Must Bear

Okay, so I've developed a bad habit of scaring the poo poo out of people lately. It used to be that all that I would do was just get sick and faint, end of story. But now my stupid body thought it would be funny to bring it up a notch and make me have seizures. Yeah, it's not cool. At all. 
Whenever I would faint, I would usually be able to sense it coming. I might feel sick, or I'd get a sudden hot flash, or I could start to feel myself blacking out. Because I'd become aware of these things, I've usually been able to prevent myself from fainting by sitting down and putting my head in my hands. It's actually been something that I've been able to get under control, at least for the most part. 
But now, I don't feel it coming hardly at all. On Friday, when I had my first set of seizures at XLT, I did feel sick for about an hour before, but I was just ready to just handle it as I usually did and get my sister to take me home. I didn't even feel the faint coming on. One minute, I was joking around with a friend and the next I woke up to a crowd surrounding me and the next I woke up again in an ambulance. And then this past Sunday at Lifeteen, when I had the second set, I didn't even feel sick. I did feel a bit warm, so I went to the back to get a drink of water, and the next thing I knew, I woke up to a bunch of Core members around me. 
This is so hard for me. It's taken over my entire life. I'm constantly in pain. I wake up every morning and immediately go to the bathroom to throw up last night's dinner. Lately, I can't even go to the store without having to randomly sit down in the aisle, or else I will faint and scare whatever poor soul happens to be around me. Honestly, that's got to be the worst part about all this. I hate watching people suffer from seeing me suffer. I hate it.
My life has been flipped upside down. And it just seems to be getting worse. My dad made me quit my job because he's afraid of me having a seizure while I'm on my roller skates. My mom just told me today that she doesn't want me to go on anymore retreats. I guess I don't blame her, but it still hurts. And now she and my dad are talking about not letting me go to Lifeteen, because it doesn't seem like I can last even a Life night. I... I honestly don't know what I would do without Lifeteen. I don't think that they'll actually take something I care so much about - like Lifeteen is - away from me. But the thought that this could happen if things get serious enough is horrible. 
We're going to doctor after doctor, getting test after test, trying our very hardest to find what's wrong with me. But everything has come up negative so far. It's frustrating. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. 
But, at the same time, this is so beautiful. Call me crazy for saying so, but I'm actually grateful that God has given me this cross. It's so hard, and I often feel as if I'm going to fall down from the weight of it on my shoulders, but He's given it to me for a reason. God has an amazing plan for me. I've always wanted to grow up, get married, have a huge family, and just live a normal life. While that still might happen, I've come to realize the fact that that God might have something better in store for me. I never really understood what it meant to "give God my all." I thought I had done that. Little did I realize that I just wanted to give Him my all... but only so long as I still got to do what I wanted with myself. I was hesitant to let Him work in my life farther than where I was comfortable. I thought that I was giving Him enough. As usual, I was wrong. 
As He is with all of us, God's calling me to be a saint. And I want to embrace that calling with all that I am. I've got to be willing to follow God wherever He leads me, especially if wherever that is takes me from my comfort zone. God has a perfect plan for my life. I just have to trust Him.  
I'm still scared, but it's the kind of scared where I know that God is with me, so it's okay. 

God is good, life is beautiful. Hallelujah! 

20 Questions: Eric

This is Eric. He's... special. He has this thing with being cosmetically damaged. He's been a faithful actor with Somebody Else's Shoes Productions for the past two movies. He and I were co-stars of the production "The Loser Chronicles." We make a fantastic team. Here's the 20 Questions that he so graciously did with me: 


1. What's your full name?
Randrossypoo Alexander Hellsbuck.
2. What's the story behind your name? 
Well I only just recently discovered my full name, but after years of searching and research I have determined that I am a genetic hybrid between Rossypoo Helland and Andrew Starbuck. Thats where Randrossypoo and Hellsbuck come from. And as for Alexander, it just sounded cool!
3. Do you like cars?
I love cars. ALOT!!!
4. What's your least favorite car? Elaborate. 
If I had to pick a least favorite car it would have to be.........The 1974 Ford Mustang 2! The reason this is my least favorite car ever is because this was not only a horrible looking thing that completely strayed from what the prior Mustangs had nearly perfected, but it was also a disgrace to what the muscle car and cars in general were supposed to be! This car was supposed to be a fun powerful and exciting american muscle car that you looked forward to getting into and driving everyday, but instead the public got a horrible looking, 4 cylinder, underpowered disgrace of a car! And just to make things even worse than they already are, this was the first and last American Muscle Car to have a 4 cylinder engine put under the hood, and the worst bit of it all, was that it carried the same name as the almost equaly as horrible Ford Pinto and that in and of its self is why its my least favorite car ever!!! Rant Concluded!!!
5. Have you ever worn makeup?
I have worn make up on multiple occasions, but only to bring movies or partys from 4 out of 5 stars to 5 out of 5 stars! Besides, you could say its for a good cause!
6. What's your favorite brand of makeup remover?
Well seeing how I've only worn make up twice and only had make up remover on one of those occasions i would say that the one that you loaned me is my favorite!
7. Who do you recommend for a makeup artist? 
I recommend to any makeup artist to always make the client happy and consult anyone but Rachel Hitchcock for advice!!! XD
8. What pet frightens you?
If i have to pick a particular pet that frightens me it would have to be my friend Paul Mathers Dog! That thing just Frightens me for whatever bizzare reason!
9. What is something most people do not know about you?
Something that most people dont know about me is there is something that people dont know about me!
10. If you could have one superpower what would it be?
If I could have one super power it would probably have to be the ability cause and effect! Basicly having the ability to be perfect at doing anything because you always know the best way to do it!
11. Do you celebrate your car's birthday? 
Well I count my cars birthday at every 10,000 miles! Mostly because on average, drivers go 10,000 miles per year so it makes sense!
12. What's your favorite Lifeteen memory? 
I would have to say my favorite lifeteen memory would have to be at the biblical badass night when Andrew Starbuck flipped the table over on the stage! It was pretty bad ass!!!
13. What's the best word you've ever played in Bananagrams?
The best word I've ever done is definitely Transubstantiated!!!
14. If you had to shoot your Spot It cards or your Frisbee, which would you choose?
Well I would shoot my frisbee because frisbees are cheaper than spot it! And I've got extra frisbees so its all good!
15. Why have you been arrested so many times?
I have been Arrested so many times because every time I go to play on my favorite playground theres this crazy lady in a blue car who drives by and says shes going to call the cops! I blame my rough life on her!
16. What musical instrument do you play? What color is it? 
I play the guitar and piano and sing! the piano I play is black my guitar is wood and my voice is flesh!
17. Speaking of which, what's your favorite color?
My favorite color is blue! And for all the girls that might read this its just blue! Not navy, not Teal, but BLUE!!!
18. What word do you have trouble saying?
I dont hav eny problums saying wirds! My gramer is grayt!
19. If you where an alien and you could abduct anyone on earth, who would you abduct and why?
Im not an alien!!!!! Why would you think im an Alien????? Thats a pretty crazy acusation!!! I mean my skins not green!!! I've got 5 fingers and 5 toes!!! WHY WONT YOU PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
20. Who's the best loser/makeup artist named Rachel Claire Hitchcock who's more beautiful than you and can speak really good? 
Well I dont know anyone who has a more beautiful voice than me, speakes really WWWEEELLLLLL!!!!!!! And is the best loser/makeup artist I know named Rachel Claire Hitchcock! So unfortunately I cant answer this last question! Sorry!!!


One thing I learned about Eric is that he must have had excitement overload in his childhood that gave him periodphobia, which causes him to use an abundance of exclamation points. 

Bring On the Ashes!

My family didn't get a chance to go to Mass today to get our ashes. You know, getting the ashes is the best part of Ash Wednesday, so naturally I was disappointed. I really, really wanted to get ashes. So I used my computer to put ashes on a picture of myself. I did remember to say "ashes to ashes and dust to dust" as I moved the cursor over my forehead. Close enough, right? 

This is the first Lent in my life that I'm not really dreading. I don't know what it is, but I think I'm actually... excited for Lent. Call me crazy, but I'm not the type of person to turn away from suffering. I've learned to embrace it as a gift from God. That's really what it is. God's given us all our own crosses that we must carry throughout our lives here on earth. We don't usually have a choice in which cross we carry. We do, however, have a choice in how we carry them. We can be moaners and groaners and complain about every splinter that pierces our skin along the way. Or we can embrace our crosses with a smile, and walk beside Jesus as He encourages us and leads us towards Heaven.